Can I be this guy when I grow up?
In a week when one deranged narcissist opened fire on his classmates in Washington State and another opened fire on police officers in Sacramento, the news is dominated by Renee Zellweger’s eyelids.
I know. It sounds implausible. But you know I’m not lying. Unless you’ve been under your bed all week. And if you have been, who would blame you?
But seriously.There’s still war. There are refugees fleeing for their lives. Ice caps are melting. Animals are going extinct. Humans are starving. But Americans can’t quit talking about whether an actress had plastic surgery. I mean, imagine! Plastic surgery! In Hollywood! Minds blown.
Enter Russell Brand. Let him have the final word. Please. Let it be the final word. As in last. Please.